So what do you want?

It was raining heavily, my heart was filled with fear and sadness... Wanted to settle things as soon as possible... But was rejected.. Guess now i know where i stand... Boarded the bus and then the sadness started to travel to my eyes... Needless to say, you know what happened next...

Well, as usual, we fought again... This time, over what i also don't know... Everytime i get hurt, i heal myself, but the more i heal myself, the more i feel like quitting.. cause i am so tired... What do you want from me? Yesterday ask you wanna go dinner together or not, then you reply "for what?!"... Seems like don't care much about spending time together... So today i decided to eat with my friends and then the war started...

I seriously don't know what you want from me... Want to spend time with you, but most of the time you need to study, we spend too much time together and so on... Fine, i accept that.. Now i can only eat with you on Mon and Wed, i am accepting it... Tomorrow is a public holiday, i know that you are busy, but would spending like 1 hour with me kill you? If it does, then i don't see a need for me to be in your life, cause i am simply wasting your time...


I strated to think about our times spent together... Was there more joy, or was there more agony... And i was stunned that there was more agony... We were almost quarreling everyday... Still, we managed to survive the fights and all till today... But, have we ever learned from our mistake? Are we even willing to change for the better? I start to feel that i really have been a negative impact to you... Perhaps i am just too low life to be with you...

Things that i do rarely seem to please you... Things like trying to cheer you up, asking you simple questions and more seems to invite more hostility from you... Why? Am i so annoying to you, why must you give me the pissed attitude most of the times... I am scared, fearful... Maybe i wasn't meant for you in the first place... I don't know, how would you handle this if you were in my shoes?

Sometimes, all i need is just for you to give me a smile or a hug, but i guess i don't deserve it.. Maybe others who are out there deserves more than me... I seriously feel that if we go on like that, nothing good would come out of it... I am badly affected... Since you hate me, why be with me? In this case i do not deserve your love at all...

I still love you, but are we losing it? There are times when i tell you how i feel, what i like or what i don't... But there are still times that you never fail to piss me off... I don't understand, does this make you feel better? After the times i try to be there when you want me to, is this what i am suppose to recieve? Or is this just my fate... To never get a guy who can shower me with the love, care and concern that i had always had dreamt of...

Well, guess the rule of treat others the way you want to be treated does not apply on Planet Earth... I can never be able to fufil the qualities that you want me to have, maybe its really time for you to find your her ahain... In any case you two get together, i will give you two my best wishes... She is THE ONE that you want, and i seriously feel that i am just a substitute...

We did have happy moments together, and i really enjoy those moments spent with you... I wish to have more of them, only if i am worthy of being with you... I am just too hurt to the extent that i am too tired... Maybe it is impossible to let you know how i feel or to tell you, cause i will be stressing you even more with my stupid voice...

I still love you alot and i don't wanna lose you just like that... There is too much to say, hence i shall just stop here... Seriously hurt, feel like crying till i run out of tears... Does the fault lie in me? All i want now is to relax and take a breather.. Maybe never to wake up again...

Things are going to get worse...

I am going to suffer for the whole year.... Cant take it anymore... School just suck... I dread going to school, not because of distance, but because of the people... I kinda never met people like that before... Wha, 2 weeks only and my blood is boiling!

By the 4th week, i would get high blood pressure and die... My goodness... How to settle such a problem... Maybe it is my fault for shutting myself in, but the more i get out of it, the more pissed i get as i feel that i am speaking to people of a total different language and frequency! If only i could turn back time and make things easier...

Somebody save me~
Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed...
DARN PISSED!